Random Pictures

Saylor's first pigtails





Sweet brother



Kisses for Mimi











Yep...the cats got a haircut



Cupcake break













My babies wore green on Monday to support Sandy Hook Elementary victims :(





Crazy hair



Kohen had his Christmas program at school... He was a cow. He stood like this the whole time... He's extremely shy when it comes to stuff like this!



Kohen and Ashton





I love my babies


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Falling Apart

If you've been around me the past couple of months then you know how I'm struggling with my breathing.  I just can't seem to get a good, deep breath.  It happens all the time.  I can be driving, watching tv, taking a bath, sleeping...doesn't mater.  I find myself gasping for air.  I've had to start sleeping with my inhaler by my bed.  I've even had to get out of the tub and scramble to find my inhaler.  It has just been awful.  I was driving to Jason's office about 2 weeks ago and had to turn around.  I was scared for the safety of my kids.  I could tell my breathing was getting REALLY bad.  I used my inhaler but it wasn't helping.  I called Wendy to come watch the kids and I headed to the doctors office without an appointment.  By the time I got there it was worse.  I felt like I was going to faint.  About that time my OB/GYN's nurse walked into the waiting room with her sick son.  I went and sat by her and told her I was so glad to see her because I really felt like I was going to faint.  She checked my pulse and asked me some questions.  I started to cry as I was telling her about my breathing problems and that I think it is triggered by things that have to do with my Dad.  I told her that I just feel like I'm falling apart.  The front desk girl called my name and told me that the next appointment was in a few HOURS.  She could tell something bad was wrong with me and asked me some questions and then told me that she thought I was having a panic attack and I needed to go to the ER.  I didn't know what to do.  I knew I couldn't breath and by this point my hands were drawn up and I couldn't separate my fingers if my life depended on it.  My OB/GYN nurse insisted that she take me to the ER.  Once there, the doctor confirmed that I was having a panic attack.  My oxygen was at 100% and blood pressure was sky high.  My hands were drawn up because I wasn't getting enough oxygen to my hands.  They gave me some meds to calm me down.  I fell asleep almost immediately.
I'm now on two different inhalers and a small dose of anxiety medicine (which I don't take because it makes me too sleepy).  I feel like the inhalers have helped.  I've gone 2 days now without having to use my emergency inhaler.  My anxiety is still pretty bad, but I'm dealing with it the best I can.
The other thing that I've been dealing with is losing my hair.  I'm losing clumps of hair.  I started noticing my hair loss about 3-4 months after my dad died.  It has continued to fall out.  I feel like the very front part has become so thin.   I went to see the dermatologist today and he said it was most likely telogen effluvium which can be caused by severe emotional stress.
("Some people experience Telogen Effluvium or sudden diffuse hair loss after a traumatic event such as the death of a family member or someone close, an accident, divorce, abuse or any other severely traumatic event. These events may trigger hair follicles to enter the resting phase prematurely, in which case an increase in the amount of hair shed will be noticed about 3 months after the event.")
Sooo, the doctor did a biopsy of my scalp today.  He gave me a shot to deaden the area and then took out about 3mm of my scalp then stitched me up.  This will let him know if my hair follicles are dead or if they will recover.  We will discuss treatment depending on the results.  I'm trying not to STRESS about losing my hair bc that causes more hair loss!!!

I just wish it wasn't on the FRONT part of my head!!!






















So for the people who ask "How are you doing?"... THAT is how I am doing! Lol

Warm, Sunny Day

Two Saturday's ago we took the kids to run around and fly a toy helicopter at Laurel Park in Conway.  It was such a pretty day.

This little girl wouldn't keep her bow in, so she had wild, crazy hair this day!

 I love this picture of Kohen, lol!

This picture scares me a little because that HUGE building in the background is the new bazillion dollar  high school where Kohen (more than likely) will be going to school one day.  You can't really tell how big it is from this picture but it takes up a huge chunk of Prince Street!  

I loved this day.

Happy 4th Birthday Kohen

Mimi came to see Kohen and give him his gifts the day before his birthday.  (She was out of town on his birthday)

She got some GOOD Kohen hugs an kisses :)

 On his birthday I woke him up singing Happy Birthday to You.  He was BEAMING!  He was grinning from ear to ear.  He said "Mommy?  It's MY birthday?  I'm 4???"  I said "Yes Baby!  It's your birthday and you are FOUR!!!"

We started the day off with his preschool class on a field trip to one of the teachers houses.  There were pumpkins, animals and snacks.  He loved it!

Bunny

 I don't guess I got a picture of the goat and chickens!

 Poor Saylor had a doctor appointment and had 6 shots that morning...  Jason brought her to the party after the appointment.

Kohen was SOOOO excited when I told him he could ride the bus back to school!  This momma had to give up some control and overprotection to allow this to happen!  Luckily the school was only a few blocks away!  Plus I knew he was in very good hands :)

 He barely told me bye, he was so excited to get on!

Kohen was super excited when his Daddy came to pick him up from school on his birthday!

While Jason was picking him up, I was getting his little "Family Party" set up.  We didn't have a big party this year.  I just have not been in a good state of mind to get a big party together.  Kohen is so shy that I figured he would enjoy the one on one time with his mommy and daddy more.

This is Kohen coming in the kitchen realizing that one of his dreams has come true... a Star Wars birthday cake!

This kid LOVES Darth Vadar!  I don't even know if I spelled that right but I had to document it!  I don't think he knows he's a "bad guy"... He hasn't even seen Star Wars... but he loves him & anything Star Wars!!!  So I got him Darth Vadar balloons and a cake.

When we started singing Happy Birthday, he got VERY shy!  He wouldn't uncover his eyes!

He loved his #4 candle :)

  By the way, Saylor slept through the whole thing!  I don't think Kohen even noticed, lol

Birthday Kiss :)

 Later that day we took Kohen to Play Time Pizza.  We were pretty much the only people there the whole time!

This, hands down, was his favorite game.  All he wanted to do was play the airplane game!

Roller Coaster game

Bowling

 High five!

So he's a little past the line... Oh well!  It's his Birthday!

The pizza was too hot!  He kept saying "blow it mommy!"

Cooling off his pizza :)

Now it's just right!

 Love my baby boy!

 and....Back to the airplane game!

Jason took off work ALL day to spend with Kohen!

Kohen Pryor Smith,

I love you more than you'll ever know.  I love that you look like your Daddy but have the attitude of your Momma!  You are HILARIOUS and make me belly laugh everyday.  You are SO smart.  I can tell you a small simple detail about something random and you will remember it MONTHS later.  Your memory is unbelievable.  You just amaze me!  You love school, you love your sister and you love your mommy and daddy.  We are so lucky that God chose you to be our son!  You don't know how much you have helped me the past 6 months.  You are always concerned when Mommy is sad and you always make sure that you tell me "It's all ok, Mommy".  You wrap your arms around me and give the best hugs.  You make me so happy.  I love it when you make me dance in the car to the many songs of Rio, I love when you make me race around the car to try and beat you to your seat and say "I got first place" when I open the door.  You love taking a bath.  You love super heros, toy guns (ugh), swords, airplanes, the Wii, snacks, playing with friends and running around like a wild child.  You love to sing and when Saylor is crying, you always sing to her and she immediately stops crying.  You are such a good big brother.  I am so so so very proud of you sweet baby boy. 

 I Love You, 

Mommy