Stage 1: Shock & Denial
You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once. This may last for weeks.
Stage 2: Pain & Guilt
As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. You may have guilty feelings or remorse over things you did or didn't do with your loved one.
Stage 3: Anger
Frustration gives way to anger, and you may lash out and lay unwarranted blame for the death on someone else.
Stage 4: Depression, Reflection & Loneliness
Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may isolate yourself on purpose, reflect on things you did with your lost one, and focus on memories of the past. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair.
...It's so bad. And it's not getting any easier. It's only getting harder. I thought time was supposed to heal???
I find the only thing that helps is keeping very, very busy. Luckily I have two active children that help with that.
Here are some things that have kept me busy...
Saylor had surgery to get tubes in her ears. Kohen is scheduled to get tubes next week.
We met Scott, Mom, Shelley and Asa in Maumelle last week to have breakfast together.
Saylor is now 9 months old.
Kohen has been a little fish this year in the pool. I'm so proud of him. (Saylor & Jason in background)
Saylor started crawling... which means bigger messes.
She is also pulling up...
Kohen's very, very short haircut... with pb&j on his face.
This was when Jason got home from his week long golf trip in California... The kids were so happy to see him. I was too.
Celebrating Ashton's 3rd birthday
my baby boy
My friends and I playing golf.
Sherri bought Saylor this cute swimsuit
This is a picture of my Dad when he was a baby. I think it looks a lot like Saylor.
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