The first time I left my Baby

Eight pages. That's the number of pages of instructions I left my sister-in-law. We left for the Dallas Market on Saturday around 6pm. I was able to put Kohen down for a late nap before we left. I told Kristin that I thought I was going to be ok. Boy was I wrong. Kristin followed us out to the garage to tell us bye and I felt like I was going to loose it. She hugged me and told me it was ok to cry. That's when I started the "ugly Oprah cry". Kristin just kept hugging me, rubbing my back and kissing my cheek, telling me it was going to be ok. I remember blubbering the words "I'm going to miss him so much".

We got in the car and left. Jason rubbed my leg then held my hand while driving. I made it to the hill on Irby (two streets over from our house) before I started boo-hooing again. And I mean boo-hooing...like grabbing my forehead, snot coming out of my nose boo-hooing... Before we got to the next exit Jason told me we didn't have to go. I told him I was ok. I lied. I cried until we reached Mayflower, which was about 20 minutes. I was a mess. I knew I had to pull it together because we were about to meet our friends Brian and LeeAnna in Bryant so they could ride to Dallas with us. About 5 minutes before we met B & L, I felt sick. I called my sister and asked her if I could come by her house (in Bryant) to use the bathroom (TMI, I know). Max & Maddie were so confused why I just came to their house, went straight to the bathroom, then had to leave again.

I didn't cry again until I laid my head down that night to go to sleep. Again, I lost control. I cried and cried and cried. Jason was very comforting, but he was exhausted and had to get some sleep. I stayed up, crying, looking through pictures of Kohen and videos of Kohen on my iphone until around 3:30am. That's the last time I remember looking at the clock. I cried myself to sleep. I woke up about 2 hours later and couldn't go back to sleep. I got up, got in the shower and got ready before our wake-up call ever rang. I sat in the hotel room chair and read to get my mind off of things. This was working. I read the whole time while Jason took a shower and got ready. Just before we left to meet Brian and LeeAnna for breakfast, I had another crying spell.

This was the last time I cried. I knew I would get to see my baby that night.

We arrived at the Dallas Market and it was AWESOME!!! I didn't know what to expect but I sure didn't expect this:
It was amazing! This was just one of the buildings we visited. It was (I think) 15 or 16 stories high with over 30 stores per floor. Very overwhelming! Jason and I were SO tired by the end of the day. I told them that if I were to amputate my legs it would hurt less than how my legs felt at the moment!

We got home around midnight on Sunday. Kristin said that Kohen was great and she had lots of fun with him. I appreciate her keeping him so much.

After she left, I woke up my baby. I couldn't help it. Kohen ended up staying up until about 3am-ish. But it was worth it.